Applying Relationship Skills

Overview

This is lesson 9 of 10 in Healthy Relationships and Hauora. Students retrieve key learning from the previous four weeks, then apply communication, boundaries, consent, conflict-resolution and help-seeking skills to realistic relationship situations. They choose an appropriate response and explain how it supports hauora, with options to respond through speech, role-play, drawing, symbols, audio or a flowchart.

Learning intentions

• WALT combine relationship skills when making a safe decision.
• WALT communicate a boundary, need or disagreement assertively and respectfully.
• WALT recognise when support is needed and identify suitable help.
• WALT explain how a choice can support hauora and inclusive relationships.

Success criteria

• I can notice the issue, pause and choose a safe strategy.
• I can communicate a boundary or need in a way that feels safe for me.
• I can recognise consent, power imbalance or unsafe behaviour and explain when to seek help.
• I can reflect on how my decision supports hauora.

Curriculum links

• Health Education — Relationships: communication skills, empathy, personal relationships and boundaries.
• Health Education — Relationships: consent, online safety, exclusion, bullying and stereotypes.
• Relationships | Self and others: questioning group norms, including diverse voices and managing respectful disagreement.
• Relationships | Self and others: emotional regulation, cultural norms, non-verbal cues and inclusive practices.

Lesson structure (60 minutes)

1. 0–8 min · Retrieval game. Open the retrieval game and learning intention slides and display five prompts: “What makes communication respectful?”, “What is a boundary?”, “What does consent sound like?”, “How can conflict be repaired?” and “Who can support us?” Students work in pairs or individually, responding with words, symbols, gestures or an AAC device. Accept several culturally appropriate ways of showing respect; avoid requiring eye contact or personal examples.

2. 8–16 min · Teach the decision pathway. Use the relationship decision pathway slides to model a fictional situation: a group chat shares an unkind image without permission. Think aloud through: notice the issue; pause and regulate; choose words or actions; check consent and boundaries; seek help if needed. Students help place strategy cards in order and identify possible consequences. Emphasise that assertive communication is clear and respectful, not aggressive, and that silence or leaving is also a valid safe choice.

3. 16–20 min · Explain the carousel. Show the carousel instructions and response options and establish safety expectations: no public personal stories, no forced performance, students may pass, and all scenarios are fictional. Students choose to work alone, with a partner or in a teacher-led group. Explain that they may answer through role-play, storyboard, audio recording, symbols, flowchart or an oral conference. Distribute the relationship scenario response organiser for recording or dictating decisions.

4. 20–44 min · Differentiated scenario carousel. Set up five stations: friendship, whānau, peer group, workplace/community and online relationships. Romantic contexts are optional and only used where age-appropriate and suitable for the group. At each station, students identify the issue, select a regulation strategy, plan words/actions, check boundaries or consent, and decide whether help is needed. Students may use the consent and respect discussion cards as an additional prompt at relevant stations. The teacher circulates, uses the rubric, and provides a teacher-led group for repeated practice or sensitive scenarios.

5. 44–52 min · Share and peer feedback. Students share one response only if comfortable, or present it privately to the teacher. Partners give feedback using “two strengths and one next step”, focusing on respectful communication, safety, boundary recognition and help-seeking rather than performance. Students may give feedback orally, by pointing to icons or using sentence starters.

6. 52–60 min · Hauora reflection and exit check. Revisit the reflection and plenary slides. Students complete the final section of the relationship scenario response organiser: “My choice supports hauora because…” and “If this situation became unsafe, I could seek help from…”. Invite students to share a general strategy, not a personal experience. Privately check in with any student whose work indicates a concern.

Resources

• the relationship skills teaching deck
• the relationship scenario response organiser
• the consent and respect discussion cards
• Scenario carousel station cards for friendship, whānau, peer, workplace/community and online contexts
• Strategy cards showing pause, regulate, communicate, check and seek help
• Teacher formative-assessment rubric
• AAC devices, symbol boards, visual scripts and sentence starters
• Timer and clearly marked quiet regulation area
• Pens, coloured pencils and optional audio-recording device

Assessment

• During retrieval and modelling, check whether students can explain communication, boundaries, consent, conflict-resolution and help-seeking using words, symbols or examples.
• Use a rubric during the carousel to assess respectful communication, recognition of boundaries and consent, safety decisions, regulation and appropriate help-seeking.
• Review the reflection and exit response. Note students needing further teaching or private follow-up before the final unit lesson.

Differentiation

• Provide pre-highlighted choices, reduced or repeated scenarios, visual scripts, first–then instructions, a visible timer and one station at a time. Offer movement breaks, headphones and the quiet regulation area for ADHD, FASD and autistic learners.
• Use dyslexia-friendly sans-serif text, high contrast, short lines, icons, read-aloud instructions and text-to-speech or scribing. No task should require independent reading or writing.
• Accept culturally responsive communication styles, including indirect communication, collective decision-making, silence, withdrawal or seeking an adult. Do not assess eye contact, volume or public performance as relationship skills.
• Extension students explore ambiguity, power imbalance and competing values; justify decisions using hauora and inclusive relationship concepts, then design an inclusive peer-support tip for the class.

Extension

• Students create a short “What could help?” guide for one relationship context, including a boundary phrase, a regulation strategy, a support person and an inclusive adaptation.
• Students compare two safe responses to the same scenario and explain how context, culture, power or non-verbal cues might influence the decision.