Conflict, Repair and Problem-Solving

Overview

This is Lesson 7 of 10 in Healthy Relationships and Hauora. Students distinguish everyday conflict from bullying, abuse and unsafe behaviour, then practise a calm, safety-led process for repairing harm or seeking help. Scenarios are fictional and students may choose a low-risk participation option rather than disclose personal experiences.

Learning intentions

• WALT manage everyday conflict safely.
• WALT use a calm problem-solving sequence.
• WALT repair harm where appropriate, including offering or accepting an apology without pressure.
• WALT recognise when to stop, move away and seek help.

Success criteria

• I can distinguish conflict from bullying, harassment, abuse or unsafe behaviour.
• I can use the sequence: pause, describe, listen, suggest, agree and check later.
• I can offer or accept a genuine apology without requiring contact, forgiveness or reconciliation.
• I can identify when compromise is unsafe and explain who can help.

Curriculum links

• Health Education — Relationships: healthy relationships include mistakes and misunderstandings; people repair trust and respond to each other’s needs.
• Health Education — Adolescent change: recognising support options and barriers to reaching out.
• Health and PE — Hauora: developing strategies that support emotional, social and physical wellbeing.
• Key competencies: managing self; relating to others; participating and contributing.

Lesson structure (60 minutes)

1. 0–7 min · Safe-start hook. Open the opening question and learning intentions and ask: “When does a disagreement become unsafe?” Students silently choose an example from the board—missed message, shared equipment, exclusion, online misunderstanding—or write “pass”, then share general ideas with a partner. Establish: no personal disclosures, names or acting out real incidents.

2. 7–18 min · Sort and teach. Display the conflict, bullying and safety comparison. Teacher explains that conflict is usually a disagreement between people with reasonably balanced power; bullying involves repeated harm or an imbalance of power; abuse, threats, harassment and coercion are unsafe and require adult support. Students help sort fictional statements into “problem-solving may help” and “stop and get help”. Emphasise that compromise is not appropriate when safety, rights or consent are involved.

3. 18–28 min · Model the sequence. Use the six-step problem-solving flowchart and model a missed-message scenario with a student volunteer only if they are comfortable; otherwise use a teacher-led demonstration. Teach: pause and regulate; describe the issue without blame; listen; suggest options; agree on a safe next step; check later. Model a sentence frame: “When ___ happened, I felt/thought ___. Can we ___?” Students rehearse the first three steps with a partner, using one variable at a time.

4. 28–45 min · Scenario response task. Place students in four groups of three and distribute the scenario response and safety-plan sheet. Groups select one fictional scenario involving a missed message, shared equipment, exclusion or an online misunderstanding. They choose discussion, comic strip, puppet role-play, flowchart or teacher-led demonstration. Each response must show the six-step sequence, a possible repair, and a point where a person stops and seeks help. Students may work individually beside the group or dictate responses to an adult.

5. 45–53 min · Share and strengthen. Groups present or display their response. After each, ask: “Is this restorative or protective?” and “Could this action increase risk?” Students identify a genuine apology, such as “I harmed you by ___. I am sorry. I will ___.” Explain that an apology does not require renewed contact or forgiveness, and repair is collaborative—not forced reconciliation.

6. 53–60 min · Safety pathway and exit check. Open the help-seeking pathway and plenary prompts. Teach and practise: stop – move away – tell a trusted adult for bullying, threats or abuse. Students complete the final section of the what-next exit card: “If this became unsafe, I would…”, “A trusted adult or service at school is…”, and “One problem-solving step is…”. Remind students they can speak privately after the lesson.

Resources

• the Conflict, Repair and Problem-Solving slide deck
• the scenario response and what-next worksheet
• Fictional scenario cards or teacher-prepared scenario slides
• Conflict flowchart displayed or printed
• Regulation tools and calm-corner access
• Apology and repair examples
• School help map with trusted adults and support pathways
• Timer and choice board for participation options

Assessment

• During sorting and rehearsal, check whether students can identify power, repetition, risk, consent and appropriate adult support.
• Observe each group’s selected response: accurate use of the sequence, safe decision-making, realistic repair and appropriate bystander action.
• Collect the “what next?” card and check that each student can name a safe next step and trusted adult. Follow up privately where an answer indicates risk or uncertainty.

Differentiation

• Provide colour-coded steps, icons, a visual timer, chunked instructions and sentence frames. Read all text aloud, offer dyslexia-friendly sans-serif print, increased spacing, reduced writing, speech-to-text or scribing.
• For ADHD, FASD and ASD learners, preview the routine, use concrete fictional examples, assign clear group roles, allow movement or a calm-corner break, and rehearse one step at a time.
• Offer response choices: speak, draw, type, point to a flowchart, record audio or complete a teacher-led demonstration. Never require eye contact, improvisation, disclosure or physical contact.
• Extension: students compare a restorative response with a protective response, analyse power and risk, and propose bystander actions that support safety without increasing danger.