Drafting for Clarity

This is lesson 4 of 5 in the unit "Thermal Energy, Connected Ideas". Lesson Title: Drafting and Revising for Clarity Lesson Description: WALT: We are learning to draft and revise an informative text so that ideas are accurate, connected and easy to follow. Success criteria: I can write an engaging introduction and clear topic sentences; I can explain facts using precise vocabulary and linking words; I can integrate a diagram, caption or example; I can revise for accuracy, cohesion and audience; I can give and use helpful feedback. 1. Study a model and rehearse (10 min): Teacher jointly constructs a paragraph explaining how insulation reduces heat transfer. Students identify the topic sentence, explanation, evidence/example and linking words. They orally rehearse their own first paragraph with a partner before writing. 2. Draft independently (20 min): Students draft their informative text from their plan, aiming for approximately 350–500 words or an equivalent accessible format. Required components are a title, introduction, at least three organised sections, accurate explanation of thermal energy, two meaningful connections, conclusion and one visual feature. Students may type, handwrite, use speech-to-text or record a spoken draft to transcribe. 3. Add visual meaning (10 min): Students create or adapt a labelled diagram, flow chart, table or infographic. They write a caption explaining how the visual adds information rather than merely decorating the page. 4. Peer feedback and revision (12 min): Partners use “two strengths and one question” plus a checklist for purpose, audience, accuracy, structure, vocabulary, evidence and connections. Students revise at least one paragraph and one visual feature in a different colour. 5. Teacher conference and self-check (8 min): Students highlight their strongest explanation and circle an area needing help. Teacher samples drafts for misconceptions, missing links and copied wording, then gives one actionable next step. Support: dyslexia-friendly drafting templates, reduced writing load with equivalent depth, paragraph frames, word bank, speech-to-text, audio instructions, scribing or conferencing, and separate content/editing feedback. Year 7 writers may use supplied headings and sentence stems; Year 8 writers should vary sentence structures and explain cause and effect. Extension: use a deliberate comparison or analogy, integrate two attributed sources, and explain a limitation or consequence of the chosen technology.

Overview

Lesson 4 of 5 in Thermal Energy, Connected Ideas. Students draft and revise an informative text explaining thermal energy and heat transfer, using accurate science, connected ideas, precise vocabulary and a visual feature. The lesson supports handwritten, typed, speech-to-text and recorded spoken drafts.

Learning intentions

WALT draft and revise an informative text so ideas are accurate, connected and easy to follow.
WALT explain thermal energy using precise vocabulary, evidence and linking words.
WALT integrate a visual feature that adds meaning.
WALT give and use helpful feedback for a specific audience.

Success criteria

I can write an engaging introduction and clear topic sentences.
I can explain facts using precise vocabulary, examples and linking words.
I can include a labelled diagram, caption, table, flow chart or infographic that adds information.
I can revise for accuracy, cohesion, audience and copied wording, and use feedback.

Curriculum links

Creating texts for a clear purpose and audience, with controlled ideas, structure, language and visual features.
Reading and viewing texts critically to identify how information, examples and language create meaning.
Using evidence, subject vocabulary and connections to communicate ideas clearly.
Key competencies: thinking; using language, symbols and texts; managing self; relating to others.

Lesson structure (60 minutes)

0–10 min – Study a model and rehearse Open with the thermal energy hook and model paragraph. Ask: “How could a house stay warm even when the outside air is cold?” Jointly construct a paragraph explaining how insulation reduces heat transfer. Students identify the topic sentence, explanation, evidence or example, and linking words such as because, therefore, however and as a result. Distribute the drafting and revision organiser. Students orally rehearse their own first paragraph with a partner, using their unit plan and the sentence prompts.
10–30 min – Draft independently Display the drafting requirements and structure and remind students that an informative text should teach, not simply list facts. Students draft from their plan, aiming for 350–500 words or an equivalent accessible format. Required components are a title, introduction, at least three organised sections, an accurate explanation of thermal energy, two meaningful connections, a conclusion and one visual feature. Students may type, handwrite, use speech-to-text or record a spoken draft to transcribe. Circulate, checking that explanations show how or why heat transfer occurs.
30–40 min – Add visual meaning Refer to visual-feature examples and caption questions. Students create or adapt a labelled diagram, flow chart, table or infographic connected to their explanation. They write a caption explaining what the visual shows and how it adds information rather than decorating the page. Prompt students to check arrows, labels and sequence: “Could a reader understand the process from the visual alone?”
40–52 min – Peer feedback and revision Display peer-feedback routine. Partners use “two strengths and one question”, then work through the organiser checklist for purpose, audience, accuracy, structure, vocabulary, evidence and connections. Feedback should name a precise feature, for example, “Your example makes the idea clear because…” Students revise at least one paragraph and one visual feature in a different colour. They must respond to their partner’s question or explain why a suggested change is not needed.
52–60 min – Teacher conference and self-check Students highlight their strongest explanation and circle one area needing help on the drafting and revision organiser. Conference briefly with selected students, sampling for misconceptions about thermal energy, missing links between ideas and copied wording. Give each student one actionable next step, such as “Add the reason heat moves from the warmer object to the cooler object.” Finish with the self-check and next-lesson prompt. Students save their revised draft for the final editing and publishing lesson.

Resources

the Thermal Energy, Connected Ideas lesson deck
the drafting and revision organiser
Students’ thermal energy plans and research notes
Exercise books or devices
Headphones and speech-to-text tools, where available
Coloured pens or highlighters
Optional digital drawing or diagram tool
Timer and teacher conferencing notes

Assessment

Formatively assess drafts for accurate thermal energy explanations, connected ideas, organised sections, precise vocabulary and audience awareness.
Check that the visual feature is labelled, relevant and explained by a caption.
Listen to partner feedback and review revisions in a different colour; record one next step for the final lesson.

Differentiation

Provide dyslexia-friendly templates, clear sans-serif text, audio instructions, reduced writing load with equivalent depth, paragraph frames and a thermal energy word bank.
Offer speech-to-text, scribing, oral rehearsal, conferencing and the option to submit a recorded spoken draft for transcription. Give separate content feedback before editing feedback.
Year 7 students may use supplied headings and sentence stems. Year 8 students should vary sentence structures and explain cause and effect using linking words.
Extension writers can use a deliberate comparison or analogy, integrate two attributed sources, and explain a limitation or consequence of their chosen technology.

Teaching Instructions