Managing the Conversation

Overview

This is lesson 14 of 18 in Lead, Reflect, Grow. Students rehearse a respectful conference sequence, practise using brief notes naturally, manage a short conversation, and respond appropriately when they do not know an answer. The lesson reinforces that significant concerns should be referred to a trusted kaiako rather than handled alone.

Learning intentions

Students will:

• sequence the key stages of a constructive conference
• use notes as prompts rather than reading word-for-word
• practise managing time and responding honestly when unsure
• identify when a concern requires kaiako support
• communicate respectfully with people whose values, beliefs or experiences may differ from their own

Success criteria

I can:

• open, guide and close a conference in a logical sequence
• speak from notes while maintaining an appropriate conversation
• use a safe response when I am unsure
• recognise a significant concern and explain when to seek kaiako support

Curriculum links

• Health and PE — Sex Education: cultural, religious and family values shape attitudes about consent, behaviour, rights and responsibilities in relationships.
• Health and PE — Relationships / Self and others: intentional choices can align with personal identity and wellbeing, even under social pressure.
• Health and PE — Relationships / Self and others: understanding and respecting diverse cultural, religious and ethnic backgrounds supports inclusive relationships.
• English — Text Studies / Response to texts: engaging respectfully with differing responses and viewpoints.

The lesson also develops the key competencies of managing self, relating to others, and participating and contributing.

Lesson structure (30 minutes)

1. 0–4 min · Hook and safety reminder. Teacher displays the question, “What makes a conversation feel safe, respectful and useful?” using the opening question slide, then establishes expectations: no personal disclosures are required, students may pass, and significant concerns must be shared with a trusted kaiako. Students privately list two behaviours that help a conversation go well, then share one with a partner.

2. 4–9 min · Teach the conference sequence. Teacher uses the conference sequence slides to model five stages: prepare and greet; explain the purpose; listen and ask clarifying questions; summarise and agree on a next step; close respectfully. Teacher briefly distinguishes a conference from an argument: the purpose is understanding and a constructive next step. Students annotate the conference practice sheet by numbering the stages and adding one useful phrase for each.

3. 9–13 min · Model notes and uncertainty. Teacher models a short conference twice from a three-point prompt card: first by reading every word, then by using the notes as cues and making eye contact. Teacher introduces the safe response, “I’m not sure, but I can check with a kaiako,” and explains that guessing about sensitive, faith-related or wellbeing concerns can cause harm. Students identify which model sounds more natural and rehearse the safe response with a partner.

4. 13–23 min · Paired conference rehearsal. Teacher displays the rehearsal instructions and scenario slides and places students in pairs, with one student as conference leader and the other as participant; students swap roles after five minutes. Using the scenarios and prompts on the conference practice sheet, students practise opening the conversation, asking one clarifying question, summarising, managing time and closing. One scenario should involve differing cultural or religious values; another should include a question the leader cannot confidently answer. Students use a visible two-minute warning to move towards a clear next step.

5. 23–27 min · Feedback and support decisions. Teacher asks pairs to use the conference practice sheet to give feedback against the success criteria: one strength and one specific improvement. Teacher then presents three brief concerns on the support decision slides: a minor misunderstanding, uncertainty about a sensitive question, and a serious wellbeing or safety concern. Students decide: handle respectfully, pause and check with a kaiako, or seek immediate kaiako support. Discuss why confidentiality does not mean keeping a serious safety concern secret.

6. 27–30 min · Plenary and exit check. Teacher returns to the closing reflection slide and asks, “What will you do if a conference moves beyond your knowledge or role?” Students complete the final reflection on the conference practice sheet: one phrase they will use when unsure, one sign that support is needed, and one conference skill they will improve next time. Collect sheets as students leave.

Resources

• the Managing the Conversation slide deck
• the conference practice sheet
• Timer or projected countdown
• Board and marker
• Pens or pencils
• Private option for students to speak with the teacher after class

Assessment

• Listen during paired rehearsals for logical sequencing, respectful questioning, natural use of notes and appropriate time management.
• Use questioning during the support-decision activity to check whether students can distinguish ordinary uncertainty from a significant wellbeing or safety concern.
• Review the exit reflection for a realistic uncertainty phrase, an accurate support decision and a clear personal next step.

Differentiation

• Provide a completed sequence example, phrase bank and three-point prompt notes for students who need structure: “Could you explain…?”, “What I hear you saying is…”, and “I will check that with a kaiako.”
• Allow students to rehearse first with the teacher, use a written dialogue frame, or take the observer role before leading a conference. Do not require personal or religious disclosure.
• Support EAL learners with key phrases displayed, extra processing time and permission to plan responses in their strongest language before speaking.
• Extend confident students by requiring them to manage an interruption, respectfully acknowledge a different belief or value, and close within the time limit without rushing.
• For students with communication, hearing or anxiety-related needs, offer a quiet rehearsal space, written responses, a trusted partner and clear advance notice of role changes.