Relationship Needs and Strengths

Overview

In this second lesson of “Healthy Relationships and Hauora”, students explore what people may need to feel safe, valued and included. They distinguish needs from demands or entitlement, and apply respectful actions to fictional relationship situations while recognising that culture, identity, disability, age and boundaries shape people’s support needs.

Learning intentions

• WALT describe relationship strengths and needs.
• WALT distinguish a need from a demand or entitlement.
• WALT suggest respectful actions that support someone’s hauora.
• WALT recognise that boundaries and support needs differ between people and situations.

Success criteria

• I can identify at least two relationship strengths and needs.
• I can explain why a request is a need, demand or entitlement.
• I can suggest an action that supports someone respectfully.
• I can explain that support is offered, not forced, and that kindness does not require tolerating unsafe behaviour.

Curriculum links

• Health and PE — Relationships / Self and others: reflecting on how peer influences and role models shape values and behaviours, and making intentional choices that support identity and wellbeing.
• Health and PE — Self-care: reframing, setting boundaries and building supportive relationships to strengthen emotional wellbeing.
• Health and PE — Relationships / Self and others: supporting others through active listening, thoughtful questions, encouragement and collaboration.
• Health and PE — Relationships / Self and others: recognising how cultural, religious and social groups contribute to community wellbeing and may experience discrimination.

Lesson structure (60 minutes)

1. 0–5 min · Welcome and regulation check-in. Display the visual agenda in the full lesson slide deck and invite students to indicate their readiness using a number, colour, gesture or AAC; remind them they may pass, take a quiet break or use an alternative response mode. Students identify one support that helps them learn today, without needing to explain personal information.

2. 5–12 min · Recap and hook. Revisit the previous lesson’s ideas about hauora, values and respectful relationships using the recap and hook slides. Present a fictional character who asks for quiet time while a friend insists, “If you cared, you would keep talking”; students think-pair-share: “What might each person need, and what would respectful support look like?”

3. 12–25 min · Explicit teaching and modelling. Teach the vocabulary needs, strengths, belonging, reciprocity, empathy, culture, identity, accessibility and boundary. Model the difference between a need (“I need a quieter space to focus”), a demand or entitlement (“You must always do what I want”) and an unsafe behaviour (“You have to accept being shouted at”). Emphasise that support is offered, not forced, and that kindness does not require tolerating unsafe behaviour. Use fictional characters with varied ages, cultures, disabilities, genders and family structures, and model asking, “What would help?” rather than assuming.

4. 25–30 min · Movement and reset. Offer a brief movement or sensory break: stretch, walk, wall push or quiet reset. Students choose a regulated return-to-learning option and review the next task on the activity instructions slide.

5. 30–48 min · Collaborative relationship garden. Place students in four groups of three and provide the relationship garden template and coloured paper. Give each group fictional character cards and invite them to create a garden: roots = values and safety; stem = communication; leaves = helpful actions; weeds = behaviours that harm. Students may draw, place icons, dictate, type or use a partner scribe. Prompt examples include respecting quiet time, checking access needs, sharing decisions and allowing different ways to participate. Circulate, asking: “Whose need is being considered?”, “Is support offered or forced?” and “Could this action feel different across cultures, identities or families?”

6. 48–55 min · Share and analyse. Groups briefly present one leaf and one weed. Use the Consent and Respect Discussion Cards for one or two relevant prompts about boundaries, respect or online interactions. Discuss how power, age, culture or an online setting can change the meaning of an action; for example, sharing a photo, making decisions for someone, or repeatedly messaging after they have asked for space.

7. 55–60 min · Individual review and exit check. Each student selects two relationship strengths and explains one, using speech, symbol, drawing, writing or AAC. Complete the check-in with the review and exit prompt slide: “A respectful person can…”. Collect responses and remind students that they do not need to connect examples to named classmates or disclose private experiences.

Resources

• the full lesson slide deck
• the relationship garden template
• Fictional character cards showing varied ages, cultures, disabilities, genders and family structures
• Coloured paper, pens, pencils and glue
• Relationship-strength and helpful-action icons
• Audio instructions and headphones
• Visual agenda and timer
• Optional AAC, typing device or partner-scribe materials
• the Consent and Respect Discussion Cards

Assessment

• During modelling, ask students to classify examples as a need, demand or entitlement and explain their reasoning.
• Use a simple checklist during the garden task: identifies two strengths; identifies a need; suggests a respectful action; recognises differing boundaries or support needs.
• For the individual review, record each student’s chosen two strengths and one explanation in their preferred communication mode. Follow up privately if a student raises a safety concern.

Differentiation

• Provide concrete picture choices, pre-taught examples, repeated instructions, a visual timer and adult modelling. Use sentence frames such as “A respectful friend…”, “This person may need…”, and “Support could be offered by…”.
• Chunk the garden task into one section at a time. Offer audio instructions, dyslexia-friendly sans-serif text, reduced reading load, high contrast, uncluttered layouts and the option to respond through drawing, symbols, typing, speech or AAC.
• For ADHD, FASD and ASD learners, provide predictable routines, clear group roles, movement access, a quiet individual alternative and a supported return-to-task plan. Never require disclosure or eye contact.
• Advanced learners analyse how power, age, culture or online settings can change an action’s meaning, then propose an inclusive adaptation that preserves choice, safety and reciprocity.

Extension

• Students write or record an inclusive response to one character, explaining how it respects identity, accessibility needs and boundaries.
• Students redesign one “weed” behaviour into a safe, respectful action and explain what makes the change supportive rather than controlling.