Revise for Impact

Overview

Lesson 5 of 6 in Informative Paragraphs in Practice. Students distinguish revising from editing and make purposeful changes to a full information-text draft so its ideas, structure, cohesion, language, audience and purpose are clear.

Learning intentions

• WALT distinguish revising from editing.
• WALT improve content, paragraph unity, order, transitions and explanations.
• WALT make language choices that suit an intended audience and purpose.
• WALT explain and justify revision decisions.

Success criteria

• I can check that my introduction previews the text and each paragraph has one clear focus.
• I can improve relevant explanations, examples, ordering and transitions.
• I can make precise language choices for my audience and purpose.
• I can record and explain at least three substantive revision decisions.

Curriculum links

• Creating texts: plan, organise, develop and revise informative writing for a clear purpose and audience.
• Reading and viewing: analyse how ideas, structure and language choices shape meaning.
• Oral language: discuss, justify and respond constructively to writing choices.
• Key competencies: thinking; managing self; participating and contributing; using language, symbols and texts.

Lesson structure (60 minutes)

1. 0–5 minutes – Hook and retrieval Open with the hook and learning intention slides. Display two versions of a short information paragraph: one unclear and one revised. Students silently identify which is easier to follow and give one reason. Briefly revisit the previous lesson’s distinction between a topic sentence, supporting detail and conclusion.

2. 5–15 minutes – Teach revising versus editing Explain that revising changes meaning, content, organisation and effect, while editing corrects spelling, punctuation and grammar after the ideas are working. Use the revision-versus-editing teaching slides and think aloud while revising a deliberately uneven draft about a familiar topic, such as preparing for a school camp. Model how to strengthen the topic sentence, remove an irrelevant detail, reorder information, add a concrete example, improve a transition and check the conclusion. Ask: “What changed the reader’s understanding?” and “Which change would not be editing?”

3. 15–25 minutes – Guided revision protocol Place students in pairs and distribute the revision protocol and revision log. Pairs read the model paragraph or a supplied short draft for meaning, identify each paragraph’s main idea, test the logical order, highlight transitions and suggest one substantive improvement. Refer to the Academic Connectives Word Mat when students need possible sequencing, adding or contrasting connectives. Invite two pairs to share a suggested change and explain its likely effect on the reader.

4. 25–32 minutes – Demonstrate the independent task Return to the guided-practice and independent-work instructions. Demonstrate a before-and-after sentence comparison, showing that “Many people use water” could become “Communities can reduce water waste by fixing leaks and collecting rainwater.” Model adding a decision to the revision log: “I added an example because my audience needs to see how the idea works.” Clarify that students should revise ideas and structure first, then edit surface errors if time allows.

5. 32–52 minutes – Independent revision and conferences Students revise their full information-text draft using teacher feedback, peer feedback and the checklist on the revision protocol and revision log. They must make and record at least three meaningful decisions. Confer briefly with individuals or a guided group, using “stop-and-check” questions: “What is this paragraph mainly about?”, “How does this detail support the purpose?”, and “What does your audience need next?” Students underline or colour-code changes so before-and-after choices are visible.

6. 52–58 minutes – Share and evaluate impact In pairs, students read one original sentence and its revised version. The listener identifies the improvement in clarity, cohesion, precision or audience awareness. Use the sharing and reflection slides to prompt: “Which revision made the biggest difference, and why?” Students add one final note to their revision log about a change they would continue developing in the next lesson.

7. 58–60 minutes – Exit check Students complete the final prompt on the revision protocol and revision log: “Revising is different from editing because…” and name one revision they made. Collect drafts, peer review evidence and logs for planning the final publishing lesson.

Resources

• the complete revision lesson slide deck
• the revision protocol and revision log
• the Academic Connectives Word Mat
• Students’ full information-text drafts
• Teacher’s deliberately uneven model draft
• Highlighters or coloured pencils
• Projector or interactive board
• Pens and writing materials

Assessment

• Check peer review sheets for comments about paragraph focus, order, transitions and substantive improvements.
• Use stop-and-check conferences to identify students who can explain the purpose of a revision, not merely correct an error.
• Review before-and-after sentences and revision logs for at least three purposeful, audience-aware decisions.

Differentiation

• Provide an accessible checklist with icons, colour overlays and a completed exemplar. Read the model draft aloud and offer audio feedback where appropriate.
• Use guided revision groups to work through one paragraph at a time; provide sentence starters such as “This paragraph is mainly about…” and “For my audience, I could explain…”.
• Support EAL learners and students with learning needs through oral rehearsal, partner discussion, targeted mini-lessons on connectives, and permission to give culturally appropriate oral or visual explanations during conferencing.
• Extend confident writers by asking them to edit for deliberate rhetorical control: vary cohesion devices, use precise technical vocabulary, treat perspectives in a balanced way, and explain the effect of each choice.