Sustaining Metaphor

This is lesson 13 of 18 in the unit "Poetry: Craft, Revise, Perform". Lesson Title: Sustaining an Extended Metaphor Lesson Description: Group/year level: Years 7–8. Timing: 0–4 metaphor sort; 4–11 read model; 11–16 map connections; 16–25 draft; 25–28 test imagery; 28–30 exit check. Teacher preparation: Prepare two-column literal/metaphorical planning map and image cards. Learning intention: We are learning to sustain one metaphor so it develops rather than becoming a sequence of unrelated comparisons. Success criteria: I establish a controlling metaphor; I develop at least four connected images; I connect the metaphor to a real subject; I avoid explaining every meaning; I revise one inconsistent image. Curriculum: Phase 3 Language—use figurative language and semantic relationships; Creating Texts—develop coherent ideas and craft extended structures for effect. Model—original mentor text: “The City Is a Machine / The city is a machine / that never finds its off-switch. / Buildings are teeth, biting clouds; / buses are arteries, pumping people / through avenues of light. / At midnight the traffic keeps turning / its invisible gears. / I walk inside its engine, / carrying one small, human silence.” Ask: “Which images belong to the same machine system?” “Where does the metaphor become emotional?” “Would ‘streets are snakes’ strengthen or derail this machine?” Students choose a subject such as school, friendship, sport or technology, map six related parts, and draft a poem of 12–18 lines. Support: metaphor map with suggested systems and teacher scribing; extension: introduce a controlled breakdown or transformation in the metaphor. Assessment: students colour-code each image’s connection to the controlling metaphor; teacher checks consistency and development. Resources: model, planning map, image cards, thesaurus.

Overview

In lesson 13 of 18, students learn how an extended metaphor can develop one central idea through a connected system of images. They analyse a model poem, plan six related images and draft a 12–18-line poem about a familiar subject.

Learning intentions

WALT sustain one controlling metaphor across a poem.
WALT develop connected images that create meaning and feeling.
WALT revise images so they remain consistent and purposeful.
WALT use figurative language without explaining every meaning.

Success criteria

I can establish a controlling metaphor.
I can develop at least four connected images.
I can connect my metaphor to a real subject.
I can revise one inconsistent image.

Curriculum links

Phase 3 Language: use figurative language and explore semantic relationships between words and ideas.
Creating Texts: develop coherent ideas and craft extended structures for effect.
Oral language and interaction: discuss how language choices shape meaning and respond constructively to others.
Key competencies: thinking; using language, symbols and texts; managing self; relating to others.

Lesson structure (30 minutes)

0–4 minutes – Sort the images. Open with the hook and image-sort slide. In pairs, students sort image cards into possible systems, such as a machine, ocean, garden or team. Ask: “Which images seem to belong together? What makes a comparison feel connected?” Briefly introduce the term extended metaphor: one comparison developed through several related images.
4–11 minutes – Read and notice the model. Display and read the mentor poem, “The City Is a Machine”, from the model poem and annotation slides. Read it once for meaning, then again with students listening for the machine system. Ask: “Which images belong to the same machine system?” and “Where does the metaphor become emotional?” Discuss how “teeth”, “arteries”, “gears” and “engine” connect, while “streets are snakes” could derail the machine metaphor unless deliberately transformed.
11–16 minutes – Map the connections. Distribute the two-column metaphor planning map. Students choose a subject such as school, friendship, sport or technology. In the literal column, they list six real parts, actions or feelings; in the metaphorical column, they connect each to one system. Model briefly: “school” could become “a garden” with seeds, roots, watering, pruning and growth. Students draw arrows between related images and circle the controlling metaphor.
16–25 minutes – Draft the poem. Students draft 12–18 lines using their map and the drafting instructions and success-criteria slide. Encourage varied line lengths, precise nouns and verbs, and some mystery. Remind them not to explain every image: allow readers to infer meaning. Confer with students by asking, “Does this image belong to your chosen system?” and “How does it develop the subject?”
25–28 minutes – Test the imagery. Students swap drafts with a partner. The reader colour-codes or underlines each image according to its connection to the controlling metaphor using the colour-coding and peer-check section. Partners identify one strong developing image and one image that feels inconsistent, then suggest a revision rather than rewriting the poem for the author.
28–30 minutes – Exit check. Return to the plenary and exit-check slide. Students complete orally or in writing: “My controlling metaphor is…”, “One connected image I developed is…”, and “One image I revised or will revise is…”. Collect drafts and maps for formative assessment.

Resources

the complete lesson slide deck
the metaphor planning and revision worksheet
Teacher-prepared image cards showing objects or ideas from different systems
Mentor poem: “The City Is a Machine”
Coloured pencils or highlighters
Pens and writing books
Whiteboard and markers
Thesaurus or classroom word wall

Assessment

Check each student’s map for a clear controlling metaphor and at least six related parts or images.
During conferencing, assess whether images remain within the same semantic system and develop the real subject.
Review colour-coding and the revised draft for consistency, purposeful imagery and evidence of reflection.

Differentiation

Support students with a partly completed map, suggested systems such as a machine, garden, ocean or sports team, and teacher scribing or oral rehearsal before writing.
Provide sentence stems: “My subject is like a…”, “Its ___ becomes…”, and “As the poem develops…”.
For EAL and students needing additional support, pre-teach metaphor, image, system and consistent with visual examples; allow drawing, speech-to-text or partner dictation.
Extend confident writers by introducing a controlled breakdown or transformation in the metaphor, showing clearly why the system changes.

Teaching Instructions