Part 1: Proofread the workplace email

WALT: proofread workplace writing for clear meaning, accurate details and appropriate tone.

Success criteria: I can find and correct at least five errors. I can check facts, organisation, capital letters, punctuation and spelling.

Colour key: RED = factual accuracy; BLUE = organisation; GREEN = COPS errors: Capital letters, Organisation, Punctuation and Spelling.

subject: missing pay urgent

hi mrs patel,

I worked 6 hours on Tuesday 14/05/2024 and 4 hours on Thursday 16/05/2024. My pay should be $180, but I only got $120 on friday 24/05/2024.

Employees dont have to check their timesheets, so please fix it immediatly. I need you to pay me today and send my payslip.

thanks,

jayden

Dyslexia-friendly option: read the email aloud, use text-to-speech, or use a coloured overlay. Check meaning and facts first; check spelling and punctuation second.

Part 2: Revise a workplace message

WALT: communicate a workplace problem clearly, accurately and respectfully.

Success criteria: I can include the issue, accurate evidence, a relevant right or responsibility, and the action I am requesting.

Option A: Revise the email above for the manager.

Option B: Write an incident note about this situation: Your payslip shows 8 hours, but your timesheet and roster show 11 hours worked during the week ending 07/06/2024. You have checked your records and want the payroll team to investigate.

Subject: ________________________________________________

Greeting: _______________________________________________

On ____________________, I worked ____________________________________.

My payslip or payment shows ____________________________________________.

I believe this needs checking because _________________________________.

Employees have a responsibility to ____________________________________.

Could you please _______________________________________________________?

Closing: ________________________________________________

Reduced-length version: Write three sentences: what happened and when; what the records show; what action you are requesting.

Pass 1: Meaning and facts

Pass 2: COPS

Support: Use the sentence frames, say your ideas aloud before writing, type your response, dictate it, or ask for a private teacher conference.

Extension: Rewrite the message for a trusted support person. Explain how your tone, detail or requested action changed for that audience.

Teacher Answer Sheet

WALT: support students to proofread and revise workplace communication accurately, clearly and respectfully.

Success criteria: Students identify errors, check evidence, use a professional tone, include a relevant workplace responsibility and request a clear action.

Marking note: Accept equivalent answers that are accurate, clear and appropriate for the intended audience. Students may use different wording, provided the meaning and workplace details are correct.

Question 1: Proofread the workplace email

The following are suitable corrections. Students do not need to identify every item to demonstrate the skill, but a strong response identifies at least five errors across facts, organisation and COPS.

Suggested corrected email:

Brief marking guidance: Award credit for identifying and correcting errors in at least five areas or examples. Give additional credit where the student checks the total hours, preserves the accurate dates and changes the tone to a respectful workplace request.

Question 2: Checklist

A complete revised message should include all eight items. The expected checklist is:

Marking guidance: Students may use different wording. Award one point for each suitable item included and accurately applied. For the pay amount, accept the stated expectation of $180 and payment of $120, provided the student does not claim an unsupported hourly rate.

Question 3: Revise a workplace message

Responses will vary. The examples below show the essential content and an appropriate professional tone.

Sample answer for Option A:

Sample answer for Option B:

Reduced-length version sample for Option B:

Marking guidance: Check that the response includes the issue, accurate evidence, a relevant responsibility and a clear requested action. Also check that the subject, greeting and closing suit the audience. Give credit for clear sentence frames, typed or dictated responses, and equivalent professional wording.

Question 4: Final two-pass check

Students should tick all eight statements when their message meets the criteria.

Marking guidance: Use the checklist as a self-assessment or teacher conference tool. A completed tick does not require perfect writing; it indicates that the student has checked the feature and made reasonable corrections. Ask students to identify one improvement they made during each pass.

Differentiation and dyslexia-friendly support