Friendship Boundaries

Lesson Overview

Duration:

40 minutes

Grade Level:

4th Grade

Subject Area:

Social Emotional Learning (SEL) – Understanding Healthy Relationships

Curriculum Standards:

Aligned with CASEL Core Competency: Relationship Skills, focusing on "Establishing and maintaining healthy and rewarding relationships based on cooperation" as well as Self-Awareness, especially "Identifying personal boundaries."

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Lesson Objective

By the end of this lesson, students will:

1. Understand what friendship boundaries are and why they are important.
2. Be able to identify healthy versus unhealthy friendship behaviors.
3. Practice setting personal boundaries through a role-playing activity.

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Materials Needed

• The book: "The Invisible Line: A Story About Boundaries" by Elizabeth Estrada
• Whiteboard or chart paper for brainstorming
• Markers
• Student handouts: "Friendship Boundary Scenarios" (prepared before class)
• Sticky notes
• Two signs: “Healthy” and “Unhealthy”

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Lesson Breakdown

1. Warm-Up Discussion (5 minutes)

• Begin the lesson by asking, “What makes someone a good friend?” Write their responses on the board.
• Introduce the concept of boundaries by asking, “Has someone ever done something that made you feel uncomfortable, even if they didn’t mean to? What did that situation look like?”
• Explain that boundaries are limits we set with others so everyone feels safe, comfortable, and respected in a friendship.

Teacher Tip: Use age-appropriate language to emphasize that setting boundaries doesn’t make someone “mean”—it makes them self-respecting and helps friendships grow stronger!

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2. Book Companion Reading and Reflection (10 minutes)

• Gather students in a circle or at their desks and read the book "The Invisible Line: A Story About Boundaries.” Pause at key moments to encourage reflection.
  • Example prompts:
    • “What do you think the main character felt when their friend crossed their boundary?”
    • “How could the character have told their friend how they felt earlier?”

Key Discussion Point: Emphasize that everyone’s boundaries look different. One friend might feel comfortable sharing secrets, while another might not. Both are okay!

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3. Guided Brainstorm: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Behaviors (8 minutes)

• Use the board or chart paper. Create two columns labeled "Healthy Friendship Behaviors" and "Unhealthy Friendship Behaviors."
• Ask students for examples of each (aid them if they need help). Examples might include:
  • Healthy: Listening to each other, asking before borrowing things, giving space when needed.
  • Unhealthy: Pushing someone to do something they don’t like, calling names, or demanding constant attention.

Place the prepared “Healthy” and “Unhealthy” signs on opposite sides of the classroom.

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4. Interactive Activity: Role-Playing Boundaries (12 minutes)

• Objective: Students will practice recognizing and expressing boundaries in a fun, hands-on way.
• Instructions:
  • Divide students into pairs. Hand each pair one "Friendship Boundary Scenario" card (these should outline age-appropriate, relatable scenarios, e.g., "Your friend keeps taking your pencil without asking," or "Your classmate wants to play a game you don’t like instead of your favorite game").
  • One student will play the "Friend," and one will be the "Boundary Setter."
  • Students role-play how to address the situation respectfully.
  • After a few minutes, have pairs swap cards and repeat.

Teacher Tip: Model an example first with an enthusiastic volunteer!

• Debrief: Gather as a class to discuss reflections from the activity. Ask, “How did it feel to set a boundary? How did it feel to respect a boundary?”

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5. Closing Reflection (5 minutes)

• On individual sticky notes, have students write one example of a boundary they would like to set or maintain (e.g., “I don’t like when people touch my things without asking”).
• Collect sticky notes and post them on a “Friendship Respects Boundaries” wall or board to revisit in future lessons.
• Remind students: Setting boundaries helps relationships to be fair and respectful.

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Additional Notes for Teachers

• Extension Activity: Have students journal later in the week about a time they’ve set a boundary or respected someone else’s boundary.
• Differentiation Tip: Pair more outgoing students with quieter ones for the role-play activity to balance participation.
• Considerations: Ensure students from diverse cultural backgrounds feel comfortable, as perceptions of personal space and boundaries can vary.