Revising for Impact

Overview

Lesson 12 of 14 in Persuade Through Time. Students revisit a short persuasive text, checking that their reasons, evidence and word choices clearly influence the reader. Through an inquiry-based “two stars and a wish” conference, students make purposeful revisions and explain their choices.

Learning intentions

• WALT revise writing so our ideas are clearer and more convincing.
• Students will check whether evidence matches each reason.
• Students will strengthen vocabulary and improve organisation.
• Students will use kind, specific feedback to help a writer.

Success criteria

• I can identify two things that are working well in my writing.
• I can suggest one change that would make the writing clearer or more convincing.
• I can make at least two changes that improve meaning or persuasion.
• I can explain how one change helps my reader.

Curriculum links

• Creating and editing persuasive texts for a familiar audience and purpose.
• Organising ideas into a logical sequence using reasons and supporting details.
• Choosing precise, interesting vocabulary to express an opinion.
• Participating in discussions, listening to others and responding appropriately.

Lesson structure (45 minutes)

1. 0–5 minutes – Hook and inquiry question Open with the hook and learning intention slides. Display two versions of a sentence, such as “Play outside” and “Please let us play outside because fresh air helps our bodies feel ready to learn.” Read both aloud and ask: “Which one would persuade you more? Why?” Invite students to notice changes in detail, word choice and evidence.

2. 5–10 minutes – Model revising for impact Show a short sample opinion text on the model text slides. Think aloud as you use the colour-coded codes: C for clarify, E for evidence and W for word choice. Model changing one vague word, adding matching evidence and moving a sentence so the reason comes before its example. Emphasise that revising means improving ideas, not simply fixing spelling.

3. 10–15 minutes – Shared investigation Read the model text together. Ask students to be “meaning detectives”: Which sentence tells the opinion? Which sentence gives a reason? Does the evidence match the reason? Record student suggestions on the board. Use oral sentence stems: “I noticed…”, “This could be clearer if…”, and “This evidence matches because…”.

4. 15–28 minutes – Two stars and a wish conference Distribute the two stars and a wish revision sheet. Students work with a partner and read their persuasive draft aloud. The listener gives two stars—specific strengths—and one wish—a helpful suggestion for improvement. Partners use pictures, pointing or a recorded comment if writing feedback is difficult. Students then choose at least two revisions to make, using the colour-coded codes on the sheet.

5. 28–38 minutes – Independent revision Students revise their own text. Encourage them to check one reason and its evidence, replace at least one weak or repeated word, and improve the order of ideas. Confer with a small teacher-led group, prompting: “What do you want your reader to think or do?” and “Which evidence proves this reason?” Students may dictate a revision or use magnetic words/sentence strips if needed.

6. 38–43 minutes – Author’s chair and response Invite three or four students to read an original sentence and their revised sentence. The class identifies the change and explains its effect on the audience. Return to the author’s chair discussion slides for the prompts: “What changed?” and “How might the reader respond now?”

7. 43–45 minutes – Exit reflection Students complete the final reflection on the two stars and a wish revision sheet by drawing or writing one change they made and finishing: “My writing is more convincing because…”. Collect drafts and sheets to inform the next lesson, which will focus on polishing and sharing final persuasive texts.

Resources

• the Revising for Impact slide deck
• the two stars and a wish revision sheet
• Students’ persuasive drafts from the previous lesson
• Coloured pencils or highlighters
• Whiteboard and markers
• Optional recording device or speech-to-text tool
• Optional sentence strips, magnetic words or word cards
• Teacher conferencing notes

Assessment

• Observe partner conferences for specific feedback about reasons, evidence, vocabulary and organisation.
• Collect revised drafts and check for at least two purposeful changes that improve meaning or persuasion.
• Use the exit reflection to assess whether students can explain how a revision affects the reader.

Differentiation

• Provide a visual revision key with three colours: clarify, evidence and word choice. Model one change at a time and use oral feedback before asking students to write.
• Support EAL learners and students requiring adjustments with picture prompts, sentence stems, vocabulary choices, partner reading, dictation or recorded comments.
• Conference with students who need additional support using a short text and one reason at a time. Scribe ideas while the student makes the decision about the revision.
• Extend advanced learners by asking them to make a deliberate change for a particular audience and explain how the change could alter that audience’s response.