Setting Boundaries Respectfully

Overview

This is lesson 3 of 4 in “Communication for Healthy Relationships”. Students build on the unit’s previous learning by practising assertive boundary-setting in unfamiliar or high-pressure situations, using respectful language and support strategies.

Learning intentions

WALT (We Are Learning To…)

• identify what boundaries are and why they help keep relationships safe and respectful
• use assertive language to respond when someone crosses a boundary or pressures them
• practise strategies such as pausing, rehearsing key phrases, and seeking support in role plays
• respond to others’ perspectives with respect, even when we disagree

Success criteria

I can…

• explain a boundary and give an example of a positive boundary
• say a clear boundary using assertive words (not rude or blaming)
• use a “pause + key phrase” strategy when I feel pressured
• role-play a respectful response that considers the other person’s feelings and perspectives

Curriculum links

• Te Mātaiaho Health and PE — Health Education / Relationships - Self and others: practising assertive language and boundary setting techniques in role plays; applying strategies like pausing, rehearsing key phrases, and seeking support
• Te Mātaiaho Health and PE — Health Education / (Practices) Communication and consent within relationships: communication and clear boundaries that create safe and positive experiences
• Te Mātaiaho Health and PE — Health Education / Relationships - Self and others: strengths like assertiveness can be harder in unfamiliar or high-pressure situations, so we practise them

Lesson structure (45 minutes)

1. 0–5 min · Welcome and link from last lesson. Teacher shares today’s focus: boundaries + assertive communication. Students do a quick think of one boundary they already use (private, physical space, or online).

2. 5–12 min · Mini-lesson: boundary language that is respectful. Teacher demonstrates three parts on the board:

• Pause: “Um—give me a second.”
• Boundary: “I’m not okay with that.” / “Please stop.” / “I don’t want to.”
• Respectful next step: “If you keep going, I’ll move away / I’ll get help.” Students copy the phrases and underline which one matches the scenario in their head.

3. 12–22 min · Model + whole-class practice (no volunteers yet). Teacher reads 3 short scenarios (e.g., someone insists on touching, sharing a photo, or peer pressure to lie). Students respond chorally using the same two-sentence structure: “I’m not okay with that. Please stop.” Teacher probes: “Was it clear? Was it respectful? What feeling did the other person might have?”

4. 22–36 min · ‘Bus stop’ boundary practice. Teacher sets up 5–6 “bus stops” around the room with scenario cards. Each group has a recorder and a speaker. Students rotate every ~2–3 minutes. At each bus stop:

• Read the scenario and decide the boundary (what should change).
• Choose one assertive response phrase and one respectful phrase (consider feelings/perspective).
• Practise a 20–30 second role-play: speaker performs; group gives one “glow” (success) and one “grow” (improvement). Teacher prompts with supports if needed:
• “Try pausing first.”
• “Make it about the boundary, not the person.”
• “Add a safe next step.”

5. 36–43 min · Consolidation: choose-your-strategy reflection. Teacher hands out a short sheet or uses a shared Google Form on devices only if your school uses them. Students complete two prompts:

• “When I feel pressured, I can pause and say…” (key phrase)
• “If it feels unsafe or hard, I will seek support by…” (who/where—e.g., teacher, friend’s parent, trusted adult)

6. 43–45 min · Exit check. Teacher asks one student per row to share their boundary sentence starter. Teacher listens for clarity and respectful tone.

Resources

• Scenario cards for bus stop stations (5–6 sets)
• “Boundary language” phrase strip posters (pause / boundary / next step)
• Bus stop rotation instructions (visible timer)
• Glow and Grow sentence stems (e.g., “Clear boundary…”, “More respect by…”)
• Student reflection sheets or exit check slips
• Optional: whiteboard/markers, timer, seating plan for groups

Assessment

• Teacher observation during bus stop role-plays: clear boundary + assertive wording + respectful next step
• Formative check during whole-class chorals: students can produce the two-sentence boundary response
• Exit reflection: identifies a pause strategy and a support-seeking action

Differentiation

• Support: provide sentence starters and a “choose 1 phrase” card for students who find it hard to speak in the moment
• Support: allow “coach whispers” (group member can quietly remind the phrase before the speaker role-plays)
• Extension: students add a respectful reason/perspective statement (e.g., “I get that you want me to… but my choice is…”) and a safer next step
• EAL/SEN: reduce scenario complexity (focus on boundary type: physical space, online privacy, pressure to join in), allow rehearsal time before speaking

Curriculum-fit note for teachers

Keep scenarios realistic and age-appropriate for Year 8 (peer pressure, privacy, personal space, online sharing). Remind students that role-plays are practice for communication; they should not share personal stories. Where students indicate discomfort, they may participate by reading the scenario or suggesting phrases rather than acting out.