Speaking Up Respectfully

Overview

In this sixth lesson of Friendship and Feelings, students practise communicating feelings, needs, and boundaries in ways that are clear, calm, and respectful. They build on earlier learning about recognising feelings and being a good friend by using “I” statements, assertive body language, and active listening in low-risk friendship situations.

Learning intentions

• WALT communicate feelings, needs, and boundaries respectfully.
• WALT use calm voices and assertive body language.
• WALT listen to others without interrupting.
• WALT choose a safe response when a friendship situation feels uncomfortable.

Success criteria

• I can use an “I feel… when… I need…” statement.
• I can say “stop” or “I need space” clearly and respectfully.
• I can use calm body language and an appropriate voice.
• I can listen without interrupting and show that I have understood.

Curriculum links

• Relationships — adapting verbal and non-verbal communication to suit different contexts, cultures, and personal experiences.
• Relationships — using critical thinking, respectful discussion, and empathy to understand others and build inclusive, respectful relationships.
• Staying safe online — practising respectful communication that promotes inclusion, prevents bullying, and supports emotional safety in group settings.
• The Health and PE learning area’s focus on hauora, relationships, communication, and making safe choices.

Lesson structure (45 minutes)

1. 0–5 min · Welcome and connect. Open with the hook and learning intention slides and ask: “How can we speak up without hurting someone’s feelings?” Students silently choose a voice level and body posture that might help someone feel safe, then share one idea with the group.

2. 5–13 min · Teach respectful communication. Use the communication teaching slides to model three ways of communicating: passive (not saying what is needed), aggressive (using hurtful words or body language), and assertive (clear, calm, and respectful). Introduce the sentence frame: “I feel ___ when ___; I need ___.” Students identify which examples sound respectful and explain why. Emphasise that students can speak up, move away, and seek help if a boundary is not respected.

3. 13–20 min · Model and rehearse. Demonstrate a low-risk example, such as a friend repeatedly interrupting a game. Model feet still, shoulders relaxed, eyes or face directed towards the listener, a calm voice, and clear words: “I feel frustrated when I am interrupted. I need a turn to finish.” Students rehearse the sentence together, then practise saying “Stop, please” and “I need space” with a gesture cue. Offer communication cards, pointing, drawing, or a trusted adult as alternative ways to communicate.

4. 20–32 min · Guided role-play. Display the role-play instructions and scenario slide and provide the friendship scenario cards. In pairs, with one student observing or supporting, students choose a low-risk scenario, such as being left out of a game, having a personal item borrowed without asking, or needing quiet space. The speaker uses an “I” statement or boundary phrase; the listener faces them, keeps quiet while they speak, and responds respectfully. Rotate roles so all six students practise. Pause after each round for one positive observation and one suggestion.

5. 32–40 min · Independent application. Distribute the dyslexia-friendly I-statement practice sheet. Students select two situations and complete or match the parts of an “I feel… when… I need…” statement. They may write, dictate, draw, point to communication choices, or use a communication card. Students practise reading one completed statement to a partner, who listens without interrupting and repeats the need they heard.

6. 40–45 min · Reflect and check. Return to the reflection and exit prompt slides. Students show with fingers 1–3 how confidently they can use an “I” statement, then complete the prompt: “One respectful way I can speak up is…” Invite volunteers to share. Reinforce that speaking up respectfully does not guarantee another person will agree; students should seek help from a trusted adult if they feel unsafe or are not listened to.

Resources

• the complete Speaking Up Respectfully slide deck
• the dyslexia-friendly I-statement practice sheet
• the friendship scenario cards
• Communication cards or emotion/need picture symbols
• Pencils, coloured pencils, and clipboards or writing boards
• A quiet space for students who need reduced stimulation
• Teacher observation notes

Assessment

• During modelling and rehearsal, check whether students can distinguish passive, aggressive, and assertive communication and explain their choice.
• During role-play, observe use of an “I” statement, calm voice, assertive body language, turn-taking, and listening without interruption.
• Use the worksheet and final response to identify students who can communicate a feeling, situation, and need. Note whether any student requires further support to state or maintain a boundary.

Differentiation

• Provide dyslexia-friendly scripts: clear sans-serif font, generous spacing, short lines, highlighted key words, and one sentence frame at a time.
• Offer sentence frames, gesture cues, visual emotion and need cards, repeated rehearsal, partner modelling, and role-play choices. Students may point, draw, dictate, or use communication cards instead of writing or speaking.
• Pre-teach and act out key words such as feel, when, need, stop, and space. Pair students thoughtfully and allow extra processing time.
• For students ready for greater challenge, ask them to adapt one “I” statement for three different situations and vary the wording to suit a friend, a group, or an online group chat. They should explain how their voice, words, or body language might change while remaining respectful.

Extension

• Adapt an “I feel… when… I need…” statement for three different friendship situations.
• Create a respectful response the listener could use, such as “I understand. I’ll give you a turn” or “Thanks for telling me.”
• Compare how the same boundary might be communicated face-to-face and in a group chat, considering tone, clarity, and emotional safety.