Varjak Paw Editing

Overview

In this final stretch of the unit, pupils will refine their writing using layout devices and accurate sentence control. The key focus today is choosing the most effective way to present information (for example, headings and sub-headings) and making deliberate use of the passive voice to vary sentence structure.

Learning intentions

• WALT use layout devices to structure a piece of writing clearly.
• WALT use the passive voice to affect how information is presented in a sentence.
• WALT revise writing so it is more precise and readable for an intended audience.
• WALT check grammar and punctuation to improve clarity.

Success criteria

• I can add headings/sub-headings or bullet points to organise information.
• I can identify and write active vs passive sentences.
• I can rewrite sentences using the passive voice where it improves focus or tone.
• I can explain my edits and show improvement in a short reflection.

Curriculum links

• Vocabulary, grammar and punctuation: Year 6 detail — use of the passive to affect the presentation of information in a sentence.
• Layout devices — use headings/sub-headings/columns/bullets/tables to structure text.
• Writing composition (narratives) — develop characters and settings through revision choices based on what pupils have read or heard.
• Grammar and punctuation embedded in revision — adjust sentence structures to strengthen meaning.

Lesson structure (60 minutes)

1. 0–5 min · Retrieval & purpose

• Teacher displays two sentence pairs (one active, one passive) and asks pupils: “What changes when we use the passive—who becomes most prominent?”
• Pupils turn-and-talk and share one observation.

2. 5–15 min · Mini-lesson: layout + passive

• Teacher models a short paragraph from the unit, then:
• shows how adding a heading and a sub-heading improves navigation
• demonstrates rewriting an active sentence as passive (e.g., “The window was broken (by me)”)
• Pupils record two “edit moves” in their books: one layout move and one passive move.

3. 15–30 min · Guided editing (small steps)

• Teacher gives pupils their own planning or draft page from the unit (completed in earlier lessons) and a checklist of targeted edits:
• Add one layout device (heading, sub-heading, or bullets) that matches the content.
• Identify at least one sentence that could be improved using the passive voice.
• Pupils work independently, then complete a quick “check with a partner” pass: partner underlines where the layout device helps.

4. 30–40 min · Passive voice practice (applied to their draft)

• Teacher provides 6 “conversion cards” (active prompts). Pupils choose 3 to rewrite into passive form, then select 1 of those passive sentences to insert into their own draft.
• Pupils write, then do a brief teacher check on one sentence per table.

5. 40–52 min · Independent revision sprint

• Teacher sets a timer and circulates, specifically looking for:
• purposeful layout decisions (not just adding headings randomly)
• passive sentences that change emphasis/tone
• Pupils revise their page, making at least:
• 2 improvements to layout/structure
• 2 passive-voice tweaks (including at least one rewrite of an existing sentence)

6. 52–58 min · Share & justify

• Teacher prompts: “Where does your reader look first now? How does the passive sentence shift attention?”
• Pupils share with a partner and use one sentence stem each:
• “I changed ___ into a passive sentence because ___.”

7. 58–60 min · Exit ticket

• Teacher collects one short response: pupils answer:
• “Name one layout device you used today and one passive sentence you improved.”
• Pupils submit independently.

Resources

• Pupils’ draft/planning page from “Adventures with Varjak Paw”
• Checklist: layout device + passive voice editing
• Conversion cards (active → passive prompts)
• Highlighters (or digital annotation tools) for marking edits
• Sentence stem strips for justifying edits
• Timer and teacher mini-model paragraph on the board

Assessment

• Teacher formative checks during guided editing: identify whether pupils can choose a layout device that fits the content.
• Teacher checks during passive sentence writing: correct formation and clear impact on emphasis.
• Exit ticket: pupils name a layout device used and one passive sentence improved, showing understanding of purpose.

Differentiation

• Support:
• Provide sentence starters and a word bank for passive construction (e.g., “was/were + past participle”).
• Offer a simplified checklist with examples of acceptable headings/sub-headings and a model passive rewrite.
• Allow pupils to revise a highlighted paragraph first (less text to manage).
• Targeted scaffolds:
• For pupils needing structure: give pre-made heading options related to their draft (e.g., Setting, Problem, Response).
• For spelling/accuracy: provide a small bank of key words from the unit to support fluent copying.
• Challenge/extension (advanced learners):
• Require pupils to write two passive sentences with different effects (one with “by …” and one without) and explain why each choice matters.
• Add an extra layout device (e.g., bullets inside a section) and ensure coherence between sections.
• Encourage stylistic variety by revising one paragraph so that passive sentences appear strategically, not randomly.