Think It or Say It?

Grade Levels

1-5 (Elementary School)

Duration

30 minutes

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Lesson Overview

This counseling session focuses on building self-control, using a social filter, and practicing respectful communication. Students will learn to think carefully about what they say before speaking, helping develop strong self-management, social skills, and a growth mindset. The lesson is designed to be interactive, practical, and kid-friendly, with activities and role-playing to reinforce learning.

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Standards Alignment

ASCA Mindsets & Behaviors Standards

• Mindset Standard M 1: Belief in development of whole self, including a healthy balance of mental, social/emotional, and physical well-being.
• Self-Management Skills (B-SMS 1 & B-SMS 2): Demonstrate ability to manage emotions and behavior in different situations; demonstrate self-control and self-discipline.
• Social Skills (B-SS 1, B-SS 4, B-SS 6): Use effective communication skills, use effective collaboration and cooperation skills, demonstrate empathy.

Common Core State Standards (CCSS) Connections

While this is a counseling lesson, integration with CCSS enhances students’ communication skills:

• CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.1.1 to SL.5.1: Participate in collaborative conversations with peers and adults in various settings, taking turns and speaking clearly.
• CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.1.2 to SL.5.2: Ask and answer questions about key details in a discussion, demonstrating active listening and understanding.
• CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.L.1.1 to L.5.1: Demonstrate command of standard English grammar and usage when speaking, including appropriate word choice and politeness conventions.

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Learning Objectives

By the end of this lesson, students will be able to:

1. Recognize the importance of thinking before speaking to show respect for others.
2. Use a “social filter” to decide if what they want to say is appropriate and kind.
3. Demonstrate self-control in communication through role-play of kind responses.
4. Identify and categorize statements as “Think” (keep to yourself) or “Say” (speak out loud respectfully).

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Materials Needed

• Index cards or printed slips with various statements (mix of kind, neutral, and unkind)
• Two labeled baskets or envelopes: one “Think” and one “Say”
• Whiteboard or chart paper and markers
• Reflection/exit ticket worksheets (simple: 3 questions)
• Optional: “Kindness Reminder” visual aid or poster

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Lesson Procedure

1. Introduction (5 minutes)

• Start with Greeting and Warm-Up
  "Today we’re going to learn about how to use our ‘social filter’ to decide what to say or keep in our heads. This helps us be kind, respectful friends!"
• Explain Key Terms Simply
  • Social filter = a special tool in our brain that helps us choose good words before we say them.
  • Self-control = choosing what we say or don’t say.
• Connect with students’ experiences: “Has anyone ever said something and then felt sorry after?” (Allow brief sharing)

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2. Think or Say Sorting Activity (10 minutes)

• Instructions:
  • Present the group with index cards or slips that have different statements such as:
    • “You look funny today.”
    • “I like how you shared your toy.”
    • “This game is boring.”
    • “I’m happy you are my friend.”
    • “You’re not good at this.”
    • “Let’s play together!”
  • Students take turns reading a card aloud and deciding together if this is something you should Think quietly or Say aloud kindly or respectfully.
• Place cards into “Think” or “Say” baskets.
• Encourage discussion: “Why do you think this should be said or just thought?”

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3. Role-Playing Kind Responses (10 minutes)

• Model 2-3 scenarios where students might want to say something unkind or inappropriate. For example:
  • Scenario 1: A friend is not playing well and you feel like saying “You’re bad at this.”
  • Scenario 2: You find someone’s drawing messy and want to say “That looks bad.”
• Ask students to suggest kind or respectful ways to say what they really feel or to use their social filter to keep negative thoughts silent.
• Invite 4-5 volunteers to role-play with you or with a partner using kind responses. Examples include:
  • “It’s okay, you’re learning.”
  • “Can I help you?”
  • “I like how you tried.”

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4. Reflection and Exit Ticket (5 minutes)

• Hand out a simple exit ticket with these questions:
  1. What is a “social filter”?
  2. Why is it important to think before you say something?
  3. Write or draw one kind thing you will say to a friend this week.
• Collect responses for review to inform future lessons and support individual needs.
• Close with a positive statement reinforcing their ability to use self-control and be kind communicators.

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Teacher Tips

• For younger grades, use more visuals and concrete examples.
• For older elementary students, include simple explanations about how words can affect feelings and relationships.
• Adapt statements cards to be culturally relevant and sensitive to your school environment.
• Use reinforcement with praise (“Great social filter!”) during activities.
• Students with IEPs focusing on social skills can benefit from repeated practice and visual aids.

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Extensions and Follow-Up Ideas

• Create a “Social Filter” poster to display in class.
• Follow-up small-group sessions practicing conflict resolution using “Think or Say” principles.
• Coordinate with classroom teachers to integrate respectful communication into daily routines and discussions.

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This lesson leverages ASCA Mindsets & Behaviors standards and Common Core ELA speaking/listening standards to build self-regulation and kindness in student communication. The practical, hands-on sorting and role-playing format ensures it is accessible and engaging for all elementary students.