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Descriptive Paragraph Success Checklist
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Descriptive Paragraph Success Checklist
Imagine Mere has written a paragraph describing a wild, windy day at a weather station. Read the sample, then use the checklist to give a writer helpful, specific feedback. Tick a criterion only when you can point to evidence in the paragraph. You can also use the checklist to review your own writing.
Read Mere’s paragraph
Beyond the weather station window, the storm hurled rain sideways across the coast. The wind groaned around the roof, and the weather vane spun like a tiny dancer. Inside, warm air wrapped around my hands while a mug of tea steamed beside the instruments. Suddenly, a sharp gust rattled the glass. I watched the grey sea rise and fall beneath a sky the colour of slate. What a wild morning to record the weather!
Use the success checklist
For each criterion, decide whether Mere’s paragraph meets it. Then write evidence or one useful suggestion. Feedback should be kind and precise.
1.Does the paragraph use at least three senses? Tick yes or not yet, then name two sensory details and the senses they appeal to.
2.Find one simile or personification in the paragraph. Copy it and explain what it helps you imagine.
3.Which mood best fits the paragraph? Choose one, then quote a detail that creates this mood.
4.Does the paragraph move in a clear order from the scene outside, to the station inside, and back to the storm? Write one linking word or phrase that helps connect the ideas.
5.Replace the plain word “big” in this sentence with a more precise word: “A big gust rattled the glass.” Choose a word that suits the storm.
6.The paragraph uses both longer descriptive sentences and the short sentence “What a wild morning to record the weather!” What effect does the short sentence have?
7.Write one specific strength in Mere’s paragraph and one next step that could make the description even clearer or more vivid.
8.Choose a place or moment to describe. Draft a short descriptive paragraph with at least three sensory details, one simile or personification, and a clear beginning, middle and ending. Then reread it and tick each feature you included.
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