Narrative Revision Goal Tracker
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Narrative Revision Goal Tracker
Read the draft and feedback
Draft excerpt: The museum was dark except for the security light above the maritime display. Bodhi stood beside the case, staring at the brass key. “We should leave it,” Xavier said. Bodhi looked at him. “You always say that.” Xavier wanted to explain, but the alarm began to beep. Bodhi grabbed the key and ran. The guard shouted. They reached the exit. Bodhi put the key on the desk. “I was only testing you,” he said. Xavier felt relieved. The guard smiled and let them go. Peer feedback: “The setting creates suspense, but Bodhi’s choice feels sudden. Show why he is tempted, and make the ending more convincing. Check whether the dialogue sounds natural.”
- Bodhi’s motivation is unclear, and the ending needs to feel more convincing.
- The excerpt has no setting or atmosphere.
- The writer uses too many characters.
- The story needs to be written in first person.
- Add a brief moment of internal thought and a physical hesitation.
- Add a long description of the museum’s opening hours.
- Introduce several new characters.
- Explain the whole history of the key in a separate paragraph.
- Add Bodhi’s thought before he reaches for the key.
- Read the conversation aloud and revise stiff lines.
- Check how the guard knows what happened.
- Make dialogue sound natural
- Clarify character motivation
- Make the ending more convincing
3 printable pages
Page 1
Page 2
Page 3
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