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Essay Cohesion Workshop

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Essay Cohesion Workshop

A cohesive essay guides readers from one claim to the next. Read the short passage, then diagnose, revise and apply techniques including transitions, reference words, repetition and sentence structure. Use precise links rather than adding transition words mechanically.

A case for later school starts

Read this original extract; it is the evidence base for the workshop. Moving the school day later may improve adolescents’ wellbeing, but the change is not a simple solution. Teenagers’ body clocks often shift towards later sleep and waking times. As a result, an early start can leave some students short of sleep. A later start could give them more opportunity to rest; however, transport schedules, family routines and after-school commitments would also need adjustment. These practical barriers do not make change impossible. Instead, they show why any proposal should be tested carefully: schools could trial a later start, compare attendance and wellbeing data, and consult students, families and staff. If the evidence shows benefits without unacceptable disruption, the trial could inform a broader decision.

Notice and diagnose

Use the passage above in Questions 1–4.

1.In the passage, what relationship does “however” signal between the possibility of extra rest and the practical adjustments a later start would require?

2.What does “These practical barriers” refer to? Name at least two barriers from the passage.

3.Which revision best clarifies the link between the sentences? “An early start can leave some students short of sleep. A later start could give them more opportunity to rest.”

An early start can leave some students short of sleep. For example, a later start could give them more opportunity to rest.
An early start can leave some students short of sleep. By contrast, a later start could give them more opportunity to rest.
An early start can leave some students short of sleep. A later start could give them more opportunity to rest, despite.
An early start can leave some students short of sleep. In conclusion, a later start could give them more opportunity to rest.

4.Identify one repeated key idea or word in the passage. Explain how that repetition helps hold the argument together.

Repair the flow

Make each revision clear and grammatical. More than one wording may work if the relationship between ideas is clear.

5.Revise this sentence pair so the pronoun has a clear reference: “The principal spoke with the family about the timetable. They said it needed further discussion.”

6.Combine these ideas into one or two well-structured sentences. Show the cause-and-effect link: “Some students travel a long distance. A later finish could affect their transport home. Schools should consult families before changing the timetable.”

7.Correct the fragment and connect it logically to the first sentence: “A trial could provide useful evidence. Although it would not answer every question.”

8.Punctuate and revise this run-on so its three ideas connect clearly: “A later start may benefit students families may face new transport problems schools should gather evidence before deciding”.

Build a cohesive argument

Apply the techniques to a new claim. Focus on the logic between sentences, not on inserting as many transitions as possible.

9.A student writes: “Later starts are a good idea. They help teenagers. There are problems. The school needs to think about them.” Choose the revision with the strongest cohesion and most precise references.

Later starts are a good idea. They help teenagers. There are problems. The school needs to think about them.
Later starts may benefit teenagers by allowing more rest; nevertheless, schools should weigh this potential gain against transport and family impacts.
Later starts are good. Furthermore, also, there are problems, so it is important.
Teenagers need sleep. Schools have timetables. This is why they are problems.

10.Write a topic sentence for a paragraph that connects two perspectives on later school starts: student wellbeing and the practical needs of families. State the relationship between the perspectives.

11.Write a cohesive mini-paragraph of three or four sentences arguing whether schools should trial a later start. Include a claim, a reason or example, and a qualification or implication. Use at least two cohesive techniques, such as a transition, a clear reference word or purposeful repetition.