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Writing Feedback Assessment Task

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Writing Feedback Assessment Task

At a netball tournament, Sione has written a short match report. Read his draft and the feedback, then show how feedback can help a writer make clear, engaging improvements. Answer every question.

Sione’s match report

Read the draft carefully. It has some strengths and some places to improve. “Yesterday our team played in the netball tournament. The whistle blew and we run onto the court. Talia passed the ball to Manaia, who scored. Everyone was cheering, it made me feel proud. The game was exciting and really good. We won by one goal.”

1.Sione receives this comment: “Your report makes the excitement of the final moments easy to feel.” Which writing strength is the feedback praising?

Capital letters
Personal voice and engaging detail
Verb tense consistency
Paragraph indentation

2.Sione receives this comment: “You began in the past tense, but ‘run’ changes to the present tense.” What should he change ‘run’ to?

3.The feedback says, “The comma joins two complete thoughts here. Use a full stop, or connect the ideas with a suitable joining word.” Rewrite this sentence correctly: “Everyone was cheering, it made me feel proud.”

4.Which piece of feedback would best help Sione improve the vague phrase “exciting and really good”?

Add a specific detail that shows why the game was exciting.
Change every verb to the present tense.
Remove the match result.
Use more capital letters.

5.Match each feedback comment to the writing skill it addresses.

“Check that each sentence begins with a capital letter.”
“Keep the action in the past tense.”
“Replace ‘really good’ with a precise description.”
“Use a full stop to separate these complete thoughts.”

Word choice
Capitalisation
Punctuation
Tense consistency

6.Choose the best revision of “The game was exciting and really good” that adds a specific detail.

The game was very, very good and exciting.
The final whistle sounded just as Manaia scored the winning goal.
The game was a game that was played.
It was good. It was exciting. It was a game.

7.Write one useful next-step comment for Sione about his match report. Make it specific and tell him what to try, rather than only saying “Good work.”

8.Use the feedback to complete the revision: “The whistle blew and we onto the court.” The sentence is in the past tense.

9.Sione has corrected the tense and punctuation. Which is the strongest reflection on what he learned?

I changed some things.
I learned to keep verbs in the past tense and separate complete thoughts with correct punctuation.
My report is perfect, so I do not need to check it.
Feedback is only useful when someone finds a spelling mistake.

10.Reflect on your own writing: name one skill you would like feedback on, and explain what a reader could look for.