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Persuasive Text Revision Workshop

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Persuasive Text Revision Workshop

Read Cooper’s draft and the editor’s notes. Then revise the argument, explain your choices and check how well the changes suit the audience. Suggested answers are provided for self-checking; your wording may differ.

Cooper’s draft: Give good food a second chance

Our local pizza shop should do more to reduce food waste. Food waste is bad, and everyone knows it. The shop throws away food at the end of the day, which is not good. Some people might say donating leftovers is difficult, but that is not a good reason. Other businesses do it. The shop should donate suitable unsold food to a local community organisation and compost scraps that cannot be eaten. This could help people and the environment. It might cost a bit, but it is worth it. If the shop does not act, it is choosing to waste food. So the shop should make a plan now.

Editor’s notes

Audience: the pizza shop owner and local customers. Purpose: persuade the shop to reduce avoidable food waste. The draft states a position, but it repeats vague claims, gives no evidence, and does not answer practical concerns in detail. Keep the proposal realistic: safe handling matters, and not every leftover item can be donated.

1.Which revision would most directly strengthen the draft’s reasoning for its stated audience?

Replace every short sentence with a longer sentence.
Add specific, relevant evidence and explain how it supports the proposal.
Add more exclamation marks to show urgency.
Remove the proposal and focus only on the problem.

2.Quote one vague phrase from Cooper’s draft and explain why it is weak for a persuasive argument.

3.Rewrite the first two sentences of the draft as a sharper opening that clearly states the issue and Cooper’s position. Address the shop owner and local customers.

4.Revise “Other businesses do it” into a more convincing sentence. Do not invent a statistic; instead, explain what the shop could investigate or trial.

5.Match each persuasive technique with the most suitable example for Cooper’s argument.

Rhetorical question
Practical reasoning
Qualified claim

B. “If safe, unsold food can help someone, why send it straight to landfill?”
A. “A short trial would let the shop measure costs before making a long-term commitment.”
C. “Suitable, safely stored leftovers could be offered to a community organisation.”

6.The draft says, “Some people might say donating leftovers is difficult, but that is not a good reason.” Write a fairer rebuttal that acknowledges food safety and offers a realistic response.

7.Complete the transition so it links the proposal to the practical concern: “Donating suitable leftovers could reduce waste; however, .”

8.True or false: “The shop throws away food at the end of the day” is enough evidence to prove that the shop should donate all leftovers.

TrueFalse

9.Replace the vague phrase “It might cost a bit, but it is worth it” with a more precise sentence that acknowledges uncertainty and suggests how the shop can assess the cost.

10.Write a two-sentence conclusion that restates the position, gives the shop a practical next step and ends with a persuasive call to action.