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Self-Editing Essay Workshop

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Self-Editing Essay Workshop

Help Riley polish a short persuasive essay before it appears in the school newsletter. Read the draft and complete each editing task. Focus on meaning, structure, evidence, tone and accuracy—not just spelling.

Read the draft

Should our community add more drinking fountains? Our community should install more drinking fountains in parks. On hot days, people need water, and carrying a bottle from home is not always convenient. In a council survey of 120 local residents, 78 said they had avoided a park because they could not find a drinking fountain. This suggests that access to water may affect whether people use public spaces. More fountains could also reduce the number of plastic bottles visitors buy. Some people might worry about the cost of installation and maintenance. However, the council could begin with two fountains in the busiest parks and review how often they are used. Adding accessible fountains would make parks more welcoming and practical for everyone.

Inspect the argument

Answer using details from Riley’s draft. More than one defensible response may be possible where you explain your reasoning.

1.Which sentence gives Riley’s main claim?

2.Which detail is the strongest piece of evidence, and what does it help Riley argue?

3.Riley mentions the cost of fountains before proposing a trial in two busy parks. What role does this section play in the argument?

It introduces an opposing concern and offers a practical response.
It changes the essay to a new topic.
It proves that every park needs several fountains.
It repeats the survey result.

4.The survey statistic is relevant, but Riley does not explain how it connects to the recommendation. Write one sentence that makes this link clearer without claiming more than the survey proves.

Revise for clarity and control

Make deliberate edits. Keep the meaning accurate and the tone suitable for a persuasive community newsletter.

5.Combine these ideas into one fluent sentence without repeating “parks”: “People visit parks to exercise. People visit parks to relax. People visit parks to meet friends.”

6.Choose the most suitable formal replacement for “a lot of people” in this sentence: “A lot of people use the park on weekends.”

Many residents
Loads of people
A heap of folks
People and stuff

7.Edit this sentence for punctuation and sentence boundaries: “The fountains could help visitors they may also reduce plastic waste”

8.True or false? The survey proves that installing fountains will definitely increase park visits.

TrueFalse

9.Riley’s final sentence says accessible fountains would make parks “more welcoming and practical for everyone”. Suggest a more precise ending that sums up the proposal and avoids promising the same benefit to every person.

10.Before submitting a final draft, which proofreading order is most useful?

Check the argument and paragraph flow first, then sentence clarity, then spelling and punctuation.
Check spelling only; readers can work out the argument.
Replace ordinary words with the longest words you know.
Read only the first sentence and submit.

11.Write a two-sentence editor’s note to Riley. Name one effective feature of the draft and one specific revision that would strengthen it.