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Essay Finalisation Workshop

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Essay Finalisation Workshop

Work through the tasks to strengthen an essay before submission. The sample paragraph is invented for this worksheet, so you do not need a particular text or essay. When an answer could vary, use the suggested response as a model.

Diagnose the draft

Read the invented paragraph carefully. Then complete Questions 1–4.

In the imagined play The Glass Shore, Mara refuses to sign the company’s agreement. This is a powerful scene. The manager says, “The tide belongs to whoever can afford the fence.” Mara does not answer straight away. This shows that the manager is greedy and Mara is brave. The scene is about money and fairness. The audience understands that the company has too much power. This is important because it makes us think.

1.Which revision would most improve the sample paragraph’s analysis?

Add more plot summary so the reader knows every event in the play.
Explain how the manager’s image of the fence and tide presents power and ownership.
Replace every short sentence with a longer sentence.
Add a second quotation without commenting on either quotation.

2.The sample paragraph implies that the play is about money and fairness. Write a more arguable analytical topic sentence that identifies the playwright’s criticism of power or ownership.

3.Develop an analysis of the quotation, “The tide belongs to whoever can afford the fence.” Explain one effect of the imagery or word choice and connect it to an interpretation of power.

4.Complete the sentence with the most logical cohesive device: “Mara’s silence initially appears to signal uncertainty; ______, it can also be read as a refusal to accept the manager’s terms.”

for example
however
as a result
similarly

Revise for clarity and cohesion

Editing should make your reasoning clearer, not simply make every sentence longer.

5.Rewrite this comma splice as one grammatically correct sentence: “The manager controls the coastline, Mara challenges his authority.” Preserve the relationship between the two ideas.

6.Revise this sentence so it is clear what “this” refers to: “Mara stays silent after the manager speaks. This makes him look powerful.”

7.Put these ideas in the order that creates a clear analytical paragraph: (A) Explain how the word “afford” links ownership to wealth. (B) State the paragraph’s claim about economic power. (C) Introduce the quotation about the tide and fence. (D) Connect the interpretation to the audience’s understanding of the company.

8.Which replacement best improves the sentence “The manager is really mean to Mara” for a formal literary essay?

The manager is a very bad person to Mara.
The manager’s dismissive treatment of Mara reinforces the power imbalance between them.
The manager does mean things, which is not nice.
Mara is treated badly by the manager and it is bad.

Finalise with purpose

Use the last tasks to check that your final draft is controlled, supported and ready to submit.

9.Write two or three sentences that conclude an essay arguing that the imagined play criticises private control of shared resources. Do not introduce new evidence; show what the analysis adds to the audience’s understanding.

10.Choose the most effective final-proofreading sequence before submitting an analytical essay.

Check spelling only; assume the argument and references are already clear.
Check the thesis and paragraph logic, verify quotations and references, then proofread grammar, punctuation and spelling.
Rewrite the introduction repeatedly, then submit without checking the body paragraphs.
Add more quotations wherever a paragraph looks short, then check the title.