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Ending Relationships Safely

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Ending Relationships Safely

Relationships can end for many reasons. You have the right to end a relationship, and you do not owe someone an in-person conversation if that feels unsafe. Use the fictional scenario below to practise choices. You may answer generally rather than share personal experiences. If this topic feels uncomfortable, you can speak privately with a trusted adult or school counsellor.

Scenario: A safe way forward

Tane wants to end a relationship with Nikau. Nikau has repeatedly demanded Tane’s passwords and become angry when Tane spends time with friends. Nikau has not made a direct threat, but Tane feels uneasy about how Nikau might react. Tane wants support without turning the situation into a public argument.

1.Which details in the scenario could be warning signs of controlling behaviour? Select the two strongest examples.

Nikau demands Tane’s passwords.
Nikau gets angry when Tane sees friends.
Tane wants support.
Tane wants to avoid a public argument.

2.Tane is deciding how to end the relationship. Which statement is safest and most accurate?

Tane must meet Nikau alone in person to be respectful.
Tane can choose a call or message if that feels safer, and can ask for support.
Tane should post the reason publicly so everyone knows.
Tane should give Nikau her passwords to keep the peace.

3.Write two practical steps Tane could take before ending the relationship. Include one person or service she could tell.

4.True or false: If someone has not made a direct threat, it is impossible for a relationship to be unsafe.

TrueFalse

Make a safety plan

A plan can be adjusted to fit the situation. It does not need to be done alone.

5.Put these actions in a sensible order by numbering them 1–4: send or say a clear, brief message; tell a trusted person; choose a safe way and time to communicate; arrange a check-in or safe place afterwards.

6.Draft one respectful, clear sentence Tane could use to end the relationship. Do not include insults, threats, or a promise to keep talking.

7.Nikau sends repeated messages after the breakup and says, “I’m coming over now.” Name two actions Tane could take straight away.

8.Match each New Zealand support option to what it is for: 1737; Youthline; Police 111.

1737
Youthline
Police 111

Youth support by phone, text, or online.
Call or text for free, confidential support from a trained counsellor, any time.
Emergency help when someone is in immediate danger.

9.A friend tells you they are worried about ending a relationship safely. Write one supportive thing you could say and one practical way you could help, while respecting their choices.

10.Give one example of a digital safety step Tane could take after ending the relationship, and explain why it may help.