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Assertive Communication Skills

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Assertive Communication Skills

Read the guide and the chat scenario, then practise responses that are clear, firm and respectful. You may use fictional examples rather than sharing private experiences. If a situation involves pressure, threats or unwanted images, save evidence where safe and speak with a trusted adult.

A useful communication toolkit

Passive communication hides your needs or gives in to pressure. Aggressive communication attacks, threatens or puts someone down. Assertive communication states what you think or need clearly, while respecting both people. A practical script is: 1) name the behaviour, 2) say how it affects you or what you need, 3) state your boundary, and 4) give a safe next step if it continues. You can adapt or shorten the script; you do not have to explain or debate a boundary.

1.A friend keeps tagging you in posts after you have asked them to stop. Match each reply to Passive, Aggressive or Assertive.

“Fine, do what you like. I won’t say anything.”
“You’re so annoying. Get lost!”
“I’ve asked you to stop tagging me. Please respect that. If it continues, I’ll mute the notifications.”

Aggressive
Passive
Assertive

Chat situation: the group project

Levi is helping with a group project. At 9.30 pm, a group member messages: “Send me your part now. If you don’t, I’ll tell everyone you did nothing.” Levi has completed her part, but it includes her personal notes. She does not want to share them tonight. She can choose what to share and when, and she can ask a teacher or trusted adult for support if the threat continues.

2.Which part of the message contains an explicit threat? Choose the best answer.

“Send me your part now.”
“If you don’t, I’ll tell everyone you did nothing.”
The message was sent at 9.30 pm.

3.Levi wants time to think before replying. Which first step is most useful?

Reply immediately with an insult.
Pause, take a breath, and decide what she is comfortable sharing.
Agree to everything so the group member will be happy.

4.Write a reply Levi could send. Include what the other person is doing, what Levi needs, a clear boundary, and a reasonable next step if the threat continues. A possible opening is: “When you threaten to tell people…”

5.Rewrite this aggressive reply so it is firm without insults: “You’re a liar. Stop being a bully and leave me alone!”

6.An assertive response must be long and include a detailed explanation, or the boundary does not count.

TrueFalse

7.Select all the messages that set a boundary without trying to control or insult another person.

“I’m not comfortable sharing that. Please don’t ask again.”
“You have to agree with me or you’re a terrible friend.”
“I’m going to leave the chat now. We can talk tomorrow if we’re both calm.”
“Do what I say, or I’ll make you regret it.”

8.Complete this assertive script with a suitable boundary: “When you keep borrowing my headphones without asking, I feel frustrated. . If it happens again, I’ll keep them in my bag.”

9.A person keeps sending unwanted messages after you have asked them to stop. Name two safe actions you could take. One should involve support from someone you trust.

10.Choose one fictional or everyday situation where being assertive could help, such as asking for space, disagreeing respectfully or requesting help. Write one sentence you could say and one action you could take if the other person ignores your boundary. You do not need to share a personal experience.