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Healthy Friendship Fact Sheet

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Healthy Friendship Fact Sheet

Read the scenario and use the ideas in it to answer the questions. There can be more than one safe and respectful response; suggested answers are included for checking your thinking.

Friendship in the group chat

Freya and Maia have been friends for a few years. They are part of a group chat with several other friends. Recently, Maia has started sending repeated messages asking Freya to share private details about another friend. When Freya says no, Maia replies, “If you trusted me, you’d tell me,” and sends a stream of messages until Freya responds. Maia also gets annoyed when Freya makes plans with other people. At other times, Maia has listened when Freya was upset and encouraged her to join a kapa haka group. Freya values the friendship but feels pressured and unsure how to respond.

What healthy friendship can look like

Healthy friendships are not perfect, and friends may disagree. They involve mutual respect, honest communication, trust that is earned, care for each other’s wellbeing, and room for people to have other relationships and interests. Boundaries are limits people set to support their physical and emotional wellbeing. A boundary might be about privacy, time, touch, or what someone is comfortable discussing. A boundary is not a punishment: it helps make expectations clear. If someone repeatedly ignores a boundary or uses guilt, threats, or pressure, it can help to seek support from a trusted adult or a suitable support service.

1.From the scenario, select the two behaviours that show Maia can be supportive in the friendship.

She listened when Freya was upset.
She encouraged Freya to join a kapa haka group.
She sent repeated messages until Freya responded.
She became annoyed when Freya made plans with others.

2.Which message uses guilt to pressure Freya into sharing information?

“Would you like to talk about what’s bothering you?”
“If you trusted me, you’d tell me.”
“No worries if you don’t want to share.”
“Let’s catch up another day.”

3.True or false: In a healthy friendship, proving trust means sharing someone else’s private information when a friend asks.

TrueFalse

4.Match each concept on the left with its meaning on the right.

Boundary
Respect
Support
Communication

Offering care or practical help without taking control.
A limit someone communicates to support their wellbeing.
Sharing and listening to thoughts or needs clearly and honestly.
Taking another person’s feelings, choices, and limits seriously.

5.Write one clear, respectful message Freya could send to say she will not share the other friend’s private information.

6.Freya wants to explain how repeated messages affect her. Write an “I” statement that describes what happens, how she feels, and what she would like Maia to do.

7.Explain why it is more useful to describe Maia’s repeated messages as pressuring behaviour than to label Maia as a “bad friend”.

8.Maia ignores Freya’s request and continues sending messages. Which is the safest and most supportive next step for Freya?

Share the private information so the messages will stop.
Keep the situation secret and deal with it entirely alone.
Pause or mute the chat if needed, and talk with a trusted adult or support person.
Send Maia’s messages to everyone in the group to embarrass her.

9.Give one reason Freya might want to maintain the friendship and one reason she may need to change how she interacts with Maia.

10.Name one trusted person Freya could approach and write one sentence she could use to start the conversation.