Respectful Communication

I-statements communicate your feelings, needs and requests without blaming another person. They can help people understand each other and solve problems respectfully.

Formula: “I feel… when… because… I would like/request…”

Example: “I feel unheard when I am interrupted because I want to finish my idea. I would like us to take turns speaking.”

12 School-Based Examples

1. Interruptions: I feel unheard when I am interrupted because I need time to finish my thought. I would like us to take turns.

2. Group work: I feel concerned when roles are unclear because we may miss important tasks. I request that we divide the work fairly.

3. Teasing: I feel uncomfortable when jokes are made about me because they do not feel friendly. I would like you to stop.

4. Disagreements: I feel frustrated when my idea is dismissed because I would like it to be considered. Can we discuss both options?

5. Borrowing belongings: I feel worried when my belongings are used without asking because they are important to me. I request that you ask first.

6. Online group chats: I feel confused when messages sound harsh because it is difficult to read the tone online. Can we clarify what we mean?

7. Personal space: I feel uncomfortable when people stand very close to me because I need some personal space. Please take a step back.

8. Unfair task division: I feel stressed when I have more tasks than others because the workload does not seem balanced. Can we redistribute the jobs?

9. Rumours: I feel hurt when rumours about me are shared because they may not be true. I request that you check with me before repeating information.

10. Feedback: I feel discouraged when feedback focuses only on mistakes because I also need to know what I did well. Could you include one strength?

11. Being left out: I feel left out when plans are made without me because I would like to be included. Can we find a way for everyone to participate?

12. Needing time to think: I feel pressured when I must answer immediately because I need time to process. I would like a few minutes to think.

Rewrite Blaming Statements

Rewrite each statement as a respectful I-statement. Include a feeling, the situation, a reason and a request where possible.

Personal Response

Teacher Answer Guide

Accept any response that communicates a feeling without blame and includes a clear situation and respectful request. Possible answers:

1. I feel unheard when I am not listened to during group discussions because my ideas matter too. I would like everyone to take turns.

2. I feel stressed when the project tasks are not shared evenly because the deadline is approaching. Can we divide the remaining work fairly?

3. I feel uncomfortable when comments in the chat sound rude because messages can be misunderstood. I request that we use kinder language.

4. I feel left out when plans are made without me because I would like a chance to join in. Can we include everyone?

Curriculum connection: This practice supports managing self, relating to others, and making informed decisions in healthy relationships.