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Respectful I-Statements Practice

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Respectful I-Statements Practice

An I-statement explains your own feelings and needs without labelling or blaming someone else. A useful structure is: “I feel… when… because… I would like…” Make the request specific and respectful.

Build a clear I-statement

A helpful statement names a feeling, describes a specific situation, gives a reason, and makes a reasonable request. For example: “I feel unsettled when plans change at the last moment because I need time to organise a ride. Could you let me know as soon as you can?” Focus on what happened, rather than making claims such as “you always” or “you never.”

Identify the parts

For each statement, identify the feeling, situation, reason, and request. Some parts may be implied rather than stated directly.

1.In “I feel anxious when I have to make a decision straight away because I need time to weigh up my options. Could we talk again after lunch?”, which words name the feeling?
2.In “I feel distracted when music is played during our study time because I find it hard to concentrate. Could we use headphones?”, what specific situation is described?
3.In “I feel disappointed when my messages are not answered about our plans because I need to know what time to meet. Could you reply by this evening?”, what is the request?

Choose the more respectful wording

Select the option that describes the speaker’s experience and makes a clear request without attacking the other person.

4.A friend has changed your shared plan without checking with you. Which response is the clearest I-statement?
  • “You never care about what I want.”
  • “I feel frustrated when our plans change without checking with me because I need time to organise. Could you ask me first next time?”
  • “Fine, do whatever you want.”
  • “You are impossible to make plans with.”
5.A group member interrupts while you are explaining your idea. Which phrase is most likely to invite a respectful conversation?
  • “You are so rude; you always interrupt.”
  • “I feel annoyed when you do that.”
  • “I feel unheard when I’m interrupted because I want to explain my thinking. Could I finish, then hear your view?”
  • “Nobody should listen to your ideas.”
6.Which statement makes a request that is specific and possible to act on?
  • “I want you to be a better person.”
  • “I feel ignored when I’m not included in the conversation. Could you ask what I think before we decide?”
  • “You need to stop being annoying.”
  • “I feel bad because everything is awful.”

Match the communication skill

Match each statement feature with the description that best explains its purpose.

7.Match each feature of an I-statement to its purpose.
  • Feeling
  • Situation
  • Reason
  • Request
  • Describes the specific behaviour or event
  • Names the speaker’s emotional experience
  • Explains why the event matters to the speaker
  • Suggests a clear next step

Rewrite blaming statements

Rewrite each line as an I-statement. Include a feeling and a specific situation; add a reason and a respectful request where they fit. Example answers are provided in the answer key, but other respectful versions may also be suitable.

8.Rewrite: “You keep taking the seat I saved without asking.”
9.Rewrite: “You’re making our presentation a mess by changing the slides.”
10.Rewrite: “Stop sharing screenshots of our private conversation.”
11.Rewrite: “You leave all the organising to me.”
12.Rewrite: “You keep making jokes about my accent.”

Check and improve

Think about whether an I-statement describes the speaker’s experience, avoids blaming language, and makes a request that the other person can understand. Requests are not demands: the other person may respond, and a further conversation may be needed.

13.True or false: “I feel upset when I’m left waiting because I don’t know whether our plan is still happening. Could you message me if you’re running late?” describes a situation and includes a clear request.
TrueFalse
14.True or false: Starting with “I feel” automatically makes a statement respectful, even if the rest of it insults or threatens someone.
TrueFalse
15.Complete the sentence with a suitable request: “I feel distracted when several people talk over one another during our planning meeting because I miss important details. Could we…”
16.Complete the sentence with a reason: “I feel uneasy when my belongings are borrowed without asking because…”

4 printable pages

  • Respectful I-Statements Practice, page 1 of 4: Build a clear I-statement, Identify the parts

    Page 1

  • Respectful I-Statements Practice, page 2 of 4: Choose the more respectful wording

    Page 2

  • Respectful I-Statements Practice, page 3 of 4: Match the communication skill, Rewrite blaming statements

    Page 3

  • Respectful I-Statements Practice, page 4 of 4: Check and improve

    Page 4

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