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Emotions and Relationships Toolkit

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Emotions and Relationships Toolkit

Explore how emotions can affect what people do and how they relate to others. There may be more than one reasonable response: use the answer suggestions as examples, not the only right answers. You can write about a made-up situation instead of a personal experience.

Notice, don’t assume

People can feel different things in the same situation. Clues can help us check in, but they do not tell us for certain what someone feels.

1.Ari is quiet at lunchtime and keeps looking at the ground. What is the most thoughtful way to find out how Ari is feeling?

Decide Ari is definitely angry and leave them alone.
Ask gently, “You seem quiet today. Would you like company or some space?”
Tell everyone Ari is upset.
Insist that Ari explain straight away.

2.Mere is listening quietly while whānau members share ideas at a hui. Give two possible reasons Mere might be quiet.

3.Losa’s model breaks just before it is due. He clenches his jaw and speaks sharply. Name one emotion Losa might be feeling and one other possible body or behaviour clue.

Choose a helpful next step

A pause can make room for a safer, more respectful response. You can also ask a trusted adult for help.

4.You feel overwhelmed by a school task. Which plan is most helpful?

Call yourself useless and give up.
Take a slow breath, choose one small first step, and ask for help if needed.
Pretend the task does not exist.
Take your frustration out on a classmate.

5.A younger sibling accidentally damages something you care about. Write a response that names your feeling, avoids hurting anyone, and suggests what to do next.

6.True or false: If a friend says they need space, respecting that request can be a caring response.

TrueFalse

Try a tool and build your own

Different strategies work for different people. Choose tools that feel comfortable, and stop if a breathing exercise makes you feel unwell.

7.The 4–7–8 calming breath pattern has three steps: breathing in, holding, and breathing out. In this pattern, breathe in for counts.

8.In the 4–7–8 calming breath pattern, hold your breath for counts. (If holding your breath is uncomfortable, breathe gently in and out instead.)

9.In the 4–7–8 calming breath pattern, breathe out for counts. (If holding your breath is uncomfortable, breathe gently in and out instead.)

10.Use this cue for the 5–4–3–2–1 grounding exercise: 5 see, 4 touch, 3 hear, 2 smell, 1 taste. Name 5 things you can .

11.In the 5–4–3–2–1 grounding exercise (5 see, 4 touch, 3 hear, 2 smell, 1 taste), name 4 things you can .

12.In the 5–4–3–2–1 grounding exercise (5 see, 4 touch, 3 hear, 2 smell, 1 taste), name 3 things you can .

13.In the 5–4–3–2–1 grounding exercise (5 see, 4 touch, 3 hear, 2 smell, 1 taste), name 2 things you can .

14.In the 5–4–3–2–1 grounding exercise (5 see, 4 touch, 3 hear, 2 smell, 1 taste), name 1 thing you can .

15.Make a mini toolkit for a stressful moment at school. Write three safe strategies you could try, such as taking a short pause, getting a drink of water, or talking to a trusted adult.

16.Finish the sentence: “Understanding my own feelings can help my relationships because …” You may use an invented example.